Timing Is Everything

So its been a while since my last post and I can honestly say that lately inspiration to write hasn't really been there. However, I've found a little incitement and it is mainly due to the insane pace my life has bolted into as the last semester of my career at UT comes to a close. I've done a lot of reflecting lately due to the current state my life is in and I realize that while a lot of things are in my control, some simply aren't. It's the things that I can't control that seem to perplex me most and I end up with a desire to control them, only to be brought back to earth and realize I can't. For some situations being in the wrong place at the wrong time leads to that lack of control we so desire while in other situations the "thing" we most want to have is there the whole time and not being able to have it is simply due to timing. A lesson I'm quickly learning is that you really can't always get what you want. Society says if you work hard enough you can do just about anything and most of the time that's true but when it isn't, how we face what's out of our control says a lot about us. Lately I see that facing what I can't have and accepting it is extremely difficult but it is simply part of life. Now, more than ever, having to move on and truly transition into this thing we call "adulthood" and face situations from a mature perspectives is a good thing, and by accepting what I can't control I am much more at ease. In these realizations I was also made aware that acceptance of what we can't control should not be an excuse to give up on something worth fighting for, there is a huge difference. So step back, look at what you can actually control, accept what you can't, and fight for what is worth fighting for, even if it means failing, because sometimes failing is better than not trying.

Fairy Tales and Fallacies

So, what does successful love look like, or what should a person expect from "true" love? If I were to ask the average student that question the answers would vary no doubt, but the ideas would more than likely be very similar. It would probably go something like this " Well it means being happy, falling in love, not arguing a lot, and being able to agree on most things." Somewhere in that answer the idea of a fairy tale relationship where Mr. Perfect comes to the rescue and is always caring and sensitive and willing to stop life to take care of his "one and only,"or Ms. Perfect, who will always be a 10, melts when the guy ask her out and then she cooks, cleans, and agrees with everything he says and looks perfect as soon as she rolls out of bed would probably be mentioned. This construed idea of love (or lack there of) is obviously ridiculous when we see it written down. But have you ever stopped and asked yourself what it is you're actually looking for in a person? Ideas from multiple sources like movies and such make there way into our heads and we form ideas of a "perfect" relationship based on very rare or even impossible notions. Those that know me know I'm a hopeless romantic realist, or better put, I would love nothing more than fairy tale relationships to work or exist but I'm also very aware that they simply don't happen. If you've never actually put a lot of thought of real qualities that you expect from someone you should, there's a great chance that these realistic expectations could save you a lot of let downs and heart breaks. If your expectations are true from the start, then your disappointments will be true when they occur, as opposed to expecting something ridiculous, and inevitably being disappointed when Ms. Perfect or Mr. Right doesn't come through in the clutch. It's okay to have high expectations, but it's also necessary to realize that none of us are perfect and neither is your current of future partner, so be real, expect what is necessary and enjoy what is extraordinary.

Stepping Out

I think its fair to say that most people have a pretty clear idea of comfort zones and thus are able to recognize their own. The downfall of recognizing our individual comfort zones is that they aren't always accurate. Typically they are skewed one way or the other, better put, people like to think that their "zone" is pretty large and are willing to do or say quite a bit in most situations (this is me) or they undercut themselves and create an idea that they aren't willing to do much that involves going out of their way. The problem with both is that it leads to people not doing much at all because they either don't feel the need to or they feel they can't, I'm guilty of this, hence why I'm writing. Life is complicated and presents more opportunities than we can imagine to get out of  our comfort zones if we choose to. When I think about opportunities that I've passed up or ones that I'm passing up right now it's clear that I've missed out some things that could have been great. These opportunities can range from choosing to say yes to something that might scare you to death or doing something as simple as going on a date. If we don't step out of our comfort zones its inevitable that we will miss out on some pretty awesome things in life, and let's face it, we don't enjoy looking back with regret, so step out, enjoy life.

In The Big Scheme of Things...

Ever had those moments in life where something happens and it feels like its the end of the world? Well I have. To be honest, its in those moments when I question where my life is going, why I'm in the position I'm in, and is this even worth my effort? Usually, I say no to all of the above and just want to quit, and at times I have. The problem with this is that all of us are emotional creatures, that's the way we were designed and its because of this that we want to feel sorry for ourselves and dwell on what we can't redo. What I have learned, is that with time, and sometimes not a lot of it, these irrational feeling of wanting to give up and question our entire motive aren't worth the stress or self pity when we picture them in the big scheme of things. Let's be honest, if we just step back and look at our situation compared to how bad it could have been, or how bad other people have it, we quickly see how not severe it really is. So, in moments of despair and stress just step back and look at the big picture, take a deep breathe, and respond as positive as you can to the situation at hand. Besides, its not getting knocked down that shapes your character, its how you pick yourself up.